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Today’s almonds have been activated by:
❝In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth, or to step back into safety❞
10almonds’ addition: …and there’s not a universal right answer as to which is best! So here’s to “the wisdom to know the difference”.
⏰ IN A RUSH?
Today’s 30-Second Summary
If you don’t have time to read the whole email today, here are some key takeaways:
Alexithymia is an umbrella term for various kinds of problems with feeling emotions. For some this means difficulty feeling them at all; for others, it can mean difficulty making sense of and managing them; for still yet others it can be a bit of both at different times.
There are ways to approach feelings in an exploratory fashion, and then guide and ride them out safely
There are also ways to cut them off if that becomes necessary (also covered in today’s main feature)
As we age, our collagen levels tend to get depleted more easily. Collagen is important not just for youthful good looks, but also for the health of bones and joints!
Today’s sponsor NativePath are offering high-quality collagen with added GABA, magnesium, and l-theanine; perfect for your bedtime routine!
Read on to learn about these things and more…
👀 WATCH AND LEARN
The High Price We Pay for Our Fear of Loneliness (6:13)
❝We often make some very peculiar and regrettable choices on the basis of a hidden and unmentioned fear: that of being alone.
But once we realise that there isn't, in fact, anything to fear about being on our own, we'll be liberated to make some far healthier decisions❞
Prefer text? Click here to read the transcript 😎
Want to watch it, but not right now? Bookmark it for later 🔖
🇺🇦 RECIPES WORTH SHARING
Hearty Ukrainian Vegetarian Borscht
This one’s from Olena Osipov at iFoodReal, and it’s a classic Ukrainian staple.
While borscht itself is originally Ukrainian, there are a lot of different kinds throughout Eastern Europe, (this writer is also fond of a Russian version, which is a bit different, and a Lithuanian version, which is very different), but this one’s full of flavor, and is good for the heart too, having protein in the form of beans rather than beef.
You can, upon seeing this recipe, also click through to other varieties if you prefer, though!
For all those who asked for more text-based recipes… Enjoy!
😶 MAIN FEATURE
Answering The Most Difficult Question: How Are You?
Today’s feature is aimed at helping mainly two kinds of people:
“I have so many emotions that I don’t always know what to do with them”
“What is an emotion, really? I think I felt one some time ago”
So, if either those describe you and/or a loved one, read on…
Alexithymia
Alexi who? Alexithymia is an umbrella term for various kinds of problems with feeling emotions.
That could be “problems feeling emotions” as in “I am unable to feel emotions” or “problems feeling emotions” as in “feeling these emotions is a problem for me”.
It is most commonly used to refer to “having difficulty identifying and expressing emotions”.
There are a lot of very poor quality pop-science articles out there about it, but here’s a decent one with good examples and minimal sensationalist pathologization:
A somatic start
Because a good level of self-awareness is critical for healthy emotional regulation, let’s start there. We’ll write this in the first person, but you can use it to help a loved one too, just switching to second person:
Simplest level first:
Are my most basic needs met right now? Is this room a good temperature? Am I comfortable dressed the way I am? Am I in good physical health? Am I well-rested? Have I been fed and watered recently? Does my body feel clean? Have I taken any meds I should be taking?
Note: If the answer is “no”, then maybe there’s something you can do to fix that first. If the answer is “no” and also you can’t fix the thing for some reason, then that’s unfortunate, but just recognize it anyway for now. It doesn’t mean the thing in question is necessarily responsible for how you feel, but it’s good to check off this list as a matter of good practice.
Bonus question: it’s cliché, but if applicable… What time of the month is it? Because while hormonal mood swings won’t create moods out of nothing, they sure aren’t irrelevant either and should be listened to too.
Bodyscanning next
What do you feel in each part of your body? Are you clenching your jaw? Are your shoulders tense? Do you have a knot in your stomach? What are your hands doing? How’s your posture? What’s your breathing like? How about your heart? What are your eyes doing?
Your observations at this point should be neutral, by the way. Not “my posture is terrible”, but “my posture is stooped”, etc. Much like in mindfulness meditation, this is a time for observing, not for judging.
Narrowing it down
Now, like a good scientist, you have assembled data. But what does the data mean for your emotions? You may have to conduct some experiments to find out.
Thought experiments: what calls to you? What do you feel like doing? Do you feel like curling up in a ball? Breaking something? Taking a bath? Crying?
Maybe what calls to you, or what you feel like doing, isn’t something that’s possible for you to do. This is often the case with anxiety, for example, and perhaps also guilt. But whatever calls to you, notice it, reflect on it, and if it’s something that your conscious mind considers reasonable and safe for you to do, you can even try doing it.
Your body is trying to help you here, by the way! It will try (and usually succeed) to give you a little dopamine spike when you anticipate doing the thing it wants you to do. Warning: it won’t always be right about what’s best for you, so do still make your own decisions about whether it is a good idea to safely do it.
Practical experiments: whether you have a theory or just a hypothesis (if you have neither, make up a hypothesis; that is also what scientists do), you can also test it:
If in the previous step you identified something you’d like to do and are able to safely do it, now is the time to try it. If not…
Find something that is likely to (safely) tip you into emotional expression, ideally, in a cathartic way. But, whatever you can get is good.
Music is great for this. What songs (or even non-lyrical musical works) make you sad, happy, angry, energized? Try them.
Literature and film can be good too, albeit they take more time. Grab that tear-jerker or angsty rage-fest, and see if it feels right.
Other media, again, can be completely unrelated to the situation at hand, but if it evokes the same emotion, it’ll help you figure out “yes, this is it”.
It could be a love letter or a tax letter, it could be an outrage-provoking news piece or some nostalgic thing you own.
Ride it out, wherever it takes you (safely)
Feelings feel better felt. It doesn’t always seem that way! But, really, they are.
Emotions, just like physical sensations, are messengers. And when a feeling/sensation is troublesome, one of the best ways to get past it is to first fully listen to it and respond accordingly.
If your body tells you something, then it’s good to acknowledge that and give it some reassurance by taking some action to appease it.
If your emotions are telling you something, then it’s good to acknowledge that and similarly take some action to appease it.
There is a reason people feel better after “having a good cry”, or “pounding it out” against a punchbag. Even stress can be dealt with by physically deliberately tensing up and then relaxing that tension, so the body thinks that you had a fight and won and can relax now.
And when someone is in a certain (not happy) mood and takes (sometimes baffling!) actions to stay in that mood rather than “snap out of it”, it’s probably because there’s more feeling to be done before the body feels heard. Hence the “ride it out if you safely can” idea.
How much feeling is too much?
While this is in large part a subjective matter, clinically speaking the key question is generally: is it adversely affecting daily life to the point of being a problem?
For example, if you have to spend half an hour every day actively managing a certain emotion, that’s probably indicative of something unusual, but “unusual” is not inherently pathological. If you’re managing it safely and in a way that doesn’t negatively affect the rest of your life, then that is generally considered fine, unless you feel otherwise about it.
If you do think “I would like to not think/feel this anymore”, then there are tools at your disposal too:
Take care!
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🤫 A WORD TO THE WISE
 | Cannabis Myths vs RealityWhen it comes to cannabis, a lot of people are worried about the wrong things! Here we sort some of the fact from fiction: |
📖 ONE-MINUTE BOOK REVIEW
Heart Healthy Diet Plan: A Beginner's Journey to Nutritious Low-Fat Recipe Cookbook for a Strong Heart, with a 30-Day Meal Plan and Expert Health Tips – by Stephen William
We've covered heart-healthy cooking books before, but variety is good, and boredom is an enemy of health, so let's shake it up with a fresh stack of recipes!
After a brief overview of the relevant science (which if you're a regular 10almonds reader, probably won't be new to you), the author takes the reader on a 28-day journey. Yes, we know the subtitle says 30 days, but unless they carefully hid the other two days somewhere we didn't find, there are "only" 28 inside. Perhaps the publisher heard it was a month and took creative license. Or maybe there's a different edition. Either way...
Rather than merely giving a diet plan (though yes, he also does that), he gives a wide range of "spotlight ingredients", such that many of the recipes, while great in and of themselves, can also be jumping-off points for those of us who like to take recipes and immediately do our own things to them.
Each day gets a breakfast, lunch, dinner, and he also covers drinks, desserts, and such like.
Notwithstanding the cover art being a lot of plants, the recipes are not entirely plant-based; there are a selection of fish dishes (and other seafood, e.g. shrimp) and also some dairy products (e.g. Greek yoghurt). The recipes are certainly very "plant-forward" though and many are just plants. If you're a strict vegan though, this probably isn't the book for you.
Bottom line: if you'd like to cook heart-healthy but are often stuck wondering "aaah, what to cook again today?", then this is the book to get you out of any culinary creative block!
What did you think of today's newsletter?We always love to hear from you, whether you leave us a comment or even just a click in the poll if you're speeding by! |
Wishing you a peaceful Sunday,
The 10almonds Team
