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- Are You Flourishing? (There's a Scale)
❝I think you can be depressed and flourish, I think you can have cancer and flourish, I think you can be divorced and flourish. When we believed that happiness was only smiling and good mood, that wasn’t very good for people like me, people in the lower half of positive affectivity.❞
⏰ IN A RUSH?
Today’s 30-Second Summary
If you don’t have time to read the whole email today, here are some key takeaways:
ADHD causes forgetting even of important things. This memory problem is an often over-looked symptom of a badly misnamed condition (it’s more about attention directability than deficit, and hyperactivity is not a diagnostic criterion—maybe we’ll do a main feature one of these days)
There’s a psychological tool for measuring the extent to which we are flourishing in our lives—and it’s not about your money or your weight. It’s the “Flourishing Scale” (and we’ve linked it below)
One psychological model that drew from this is PERMA; we recommend to overlook the tenuous nature of the acronym, and try to build these things into your life:
Positive emotion
Engagement
positive Relationships
Meaning
Accomplishment/Achievement
There are also the Five Foundations of Flourishing, which we’ve listed and described below (we’ve also added actionable items for each)!
Read on to learn about these things and more…
👀 WATCH AND LEARN
Why People With ADHD Struggle to Remember Things
“If you cared, you’d remember” can be frustrating (not to mention: upsetting) for people who in fact care very much and/but remember very little. Hopefully, the more people understand how these things work, the more compassionate they might be with themselves and others:
🌼 MAIN FEATURE
What does it mean, to flourish? And how can you do it more?
In 2009, psychologists Diener et al developed the “Flourishing Scale”, or as it was more prosaically called originally, “Subjective Wellness Scale”. The name was changed later, as it was noted that it went beyond what was typically considered mere “wellness”.
This scale was so useful, that colleagues scrambled to see if they could improve on it, such as with PERMA (2012), which looked at:
Positive emotion
Engagement
positive Relationships
Meaning
Accomplishment/Achievement
While popular (despite the tenuous acronym, it is a very good list of things to foster in your life), this was studied and measured scientifically and found to not be an improvement on the Flourishing Scale / SWS, so we’re going to stick to the original version for now.
We couldn’t find an interactive online quiz for the scale though (apart from this NY Times one, which is paywalled for NYT subscribers, so enjoy if you’re a NYT subscriber!), so here’s the source material, still hosted on the website of the (now deceased, as of a couple of years ago) author:
Flourishing Scale (FS) ← it’s an eight-question, ranked choice scale
How did you score? And…
What are the keys to flourishing more?
According to Jeffrey Davis M.A., of Tracking Wonder, there are five key attributes that we must develop and/or maintain:
The ability to direct and re-direct your attention
This isn't just a task-related thing. This is about your mind itself. For example, the ability to recognize what your emotions are telling you, thank them for the message, and then set them aside. Or the ability to cut through negative thought spirals! How often have you worried about future events that didn't transpire, or twisted yourself in knots over a past event that you can't change?
Action: check out our previous article “The Off-Button For Your Brain” ← this is a technique for switching off racing thoughts, and it’s really good
Want more? We also did this:
The tendency to shape your time with intention and for impact
Time is an incredibly precious asset. How you use it is a very personal choice. You don't have to maximize productivity (though you can if you want), but for example there's a difference between:
Deciding to spend an hour watching a TV show you really enjoy
Wondering what's on TV, browsing aimlessly, watching listlessly, just a distraction
In the former case, you are enjoying your time. Literally: you are experiencing joy during your time.
In the latter case, to borrow from Jim Steinman, "you were only killing time and it'll kill you right back"!
Action: do a time audit for a week, and see where your time really goes, rather than where you expect or hope for it to go. Use this information to plan your next week more intentionally. Repeat as and when it seems like it might be useful!
The practice of constant improvement
Fun fact: you are good enough already. And you can also improve. You don't have to, but improving in the areas that are meaningful to you can really add up over time. This could be becoming excellent at something for which already have a passion... It could also be brushing up something that you feel might be holding you back.
Action: do a quick SWOT* self-assessment. Then plan your next step from there!
*Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. What are yours?
The ability to communicate and listen to others
A lot of this is about feedback. Giving and receiving feedback are often amongst the hardest things we do in the category of communication... Especially if the feedback is negative. How to decide what to disregard as baseless criticism, and what to take on board (and try not to take it personally), or the other way around, how to present negative feedback in a way that won’t trigger defensiveness.
Action: check out our previous article “Save Time With Better Communication” for some tips that really make relationships (of any kind) so much easier.
The commitment to positive experiences
Many things in life are not fun. Often, we know in advance that they will not be fun. The key here is the ability to make the most of a bad situation, and seek out better situations by your actions. Not like a lost person in a desert seeks water, but like a chess player who employs a general strategy to make tactical advantages more likely to appear.
Action: think about something you have to do but don’t want to. How could it be made more fun? Or failing that, how could it be made at least more comfortable?
See also: Working Smarter < Working Brighter!
Want to read more?
🌏 AROUND THE WEB
What’s happening in the health world…
More to come tomorrow!
📖 ONE-MINUTE BOOK REVIEW
The Silent Struggle: Taking Charge of ADHD in Adults - by L. William Ross-Child, MLC
The vast majority of literature out there about ADHD is about children. And fair enough, there are enough popular misunderstandings of ADHD in children so it's good those works exist... but what about adults?
Adults face different challenges than children, and have different responsibilities. People have different expectations. And even if you say you have ADHD... If you're not behaving like a squirrel, they will often not accept this, much less understand it, because half the actual symptoms are not what most people think they are.
Ross-Child first lays out the neurobiological underpinnings of ADHD. This is a good place to start, because the physiology of it explains a lot of the other parts of it that can otherwise seem quite mystifying.
Thereafter, he looks one-by-one at the various cognitive and behavioral aspects of ADHD in adults, which will surely help the reader to better understand themself (or perhaps a loved one).
The next part of the book is given over to an exploration of ADHD and the differences it can make in the workplace, relationships (incl. ADHD and sex), as well as parenting, and how these things can all be navigated better by all concerned.
The style throughout is light and very readable, peppered with science made comprehensible. If there's any flaw, it's that there are only two pages of references in the bibliography—we'd have liked to have seen more.
All in all though, a really useful guide if you or a loved one has ADHD and you'd like strategies for working with (or around) this condition in a world not made to be kind to such.
What did you think of today's newsletter?Sorry to bother you. But the feedback really helps us. |
May you flourish today and every day,
The 10almonds Team