Beating Toxic Positivity

Today’s almonds have been activated by:

⏰ IN A RUSH?

Today’s 30-Second Summary

If you don’t have time to read the whole email today, here are some key takeaways:

• Scientists in a huge study have found strong and statistically significant associations of increasing levels of optimism with decreasing risks of mortality, including mortality due each major cause of death, such as cancer, heart disease, stroke, respiratory disease, and infection.

  • Importantly, findings were maintained after close control for potential confounding factors, including sociodemographic characteristics and depression

• And yet, there is such a thing as toxic positivity too, which can cause as much harm as it seeks to avoid, by burying one’s head in the sand and ignoring problems

  • Happily, there are techniques we can use to keep the negative emotions we sometimes need (to protect us, and/or motivate us), while also making sure our brain stays in a more positive lane in general, including:

    • Gratitude practice (yes, really)

    • Neurolinguistic programming

    • Cognitive reframing

    • Sympathetic/somatic therapies

    • See today’s main feature for more information on these!

• Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has been found to have a stack of post-viral conditions implicated as causative factors—including COVID yes, but many others too.

• Iron toxicity has been implicated in Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia as a whole.

• Hydration is a critical and often-neglected part of good health, and healthy habits are (by science!) best picked-up when they’re made more convenient and easy.

  • Today’s sponsor, Hint Water, are offering 10almonds subscribers 45% off and free shipping, on their already very reasonably-priced flavored waters and vitamin waters

    • They are, by the way, free from sugar and artificial sweeteners, so these are different from ones you’ve probably tried before

Read on to learn about these things and more…

👀 WATCH AND LEARN

The Secret to a Calm Life

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Prefer text? Click here to read the transcript 🙂

🙂 MAIN FEATURE

How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

There have been many studies done regards optimism and health, and they generally come to the same conclusion: optimism is simply good for the health.

Here’s an example we’ve mentioned before, but it’s a good introduction to today’s main feature. It’s a longitudinal study, and it followed 121,700 women (what a sample size!) for eight years. It controlled for all kinds of other lifestyle factors (especially smoking, drinking, diet, and exercise habits, as well as pre-existing medical conditions), so this wasn’t a case of “people who are healthy are more optimistic as results. And, in the researchers’ own words…

Read: Optimism and Cause-Specific Mortality: A Prospective Cohort Study

And yet, toxic positivity can cause as many problems as it tries to fix.

What is toxic positivity?

• Toxic positivity is the well-meaning friend who says “I’m sure it’ll be ok” when you know full well it definitely will not.

• Toxic positivity is the allegorical frog-in-a-pan saying that the temperature rises due to climate change are gradual, so they’re nothing to worry about

• Toxic positivity is thinking that “good vibes” will outperform chemotherapy

Sometimes, a dose of realism is needed. So, can we do that and maintain a positive attitude?

The answer is: somewhat, yes! But first, a quick check-in:

To believe self-reports, the world is divided between optimists and realists. But how does your outlook measure up, really?

While like most free online tests, this is offered “as-is” with the usual caveats about not being a clinical diagnostic tool, this one actually has a fair amount of scientific weight behind it:

Take This Short (1–2 mins) Test

How did you score? And what could you do to improve on that score?

First, it’s said that with a big enough “why”, one can overcome any “how”. So…

An attitude of gratitude

We know, we know, it’s very Oprah Winfrey. But also, it works. Take the time, ideally daily, to quickly list 3–5 things for which you feel grateful. Great or small, it can be anything from your spouse to your cup of coffee, provided you feel fortunate to have it.

How this works: our brains easily get stuck in loops, so it can help to nudge them into a more positive loop.

What about when we are treated unfairly? Are we supposed to be grateful?

Sometimes, our less positive emotions are necessary, to protect us and/or those around us, and to provide a motivational force. We can still maintain a positive attitude by noting the bad thing and some good, but watch out! Notice the difference:

• “How dare they take our healthcare away, but at least I’m not sick right now” (lasting impression: no action required)

• “At least I’m not sick right now, but how dare they take our healthcare away!” (lasting impression: action required)

It’s a well-known idea in neurolinguistic programming, that “but” negates whatever goes before it (think of “I’m sorry but”, or “I’m not racist but”, etc), so use it consciously and wisely, or else simply use “and” instead.

Cognitive reframing: problem, or opportunity?

Most problems can be opportunities, even if the problems themselves genuinely suck and are not intrinsically positive. A way of leveraging this can be replacing “I have to…” with “I get to…”.

This not only can reframe problems as opportunities, but also calls back to the gratitude idea.

• Instead of “I have to get my mammogram / prostate exam” (not generally considered fun activities), “I get to have the peace of mind of being free from cancer / I get to have the forewarning that will keep me safe”.

• Instead of “I have to go to work”, “I get to go to work” (many wish they were in your shoes!)

• Instead of “I have to rest”, “I get to rest”

When things are truly not great

Whether due to internal or external factors, whether you can control something or not, sometimes things are truly not great. The trick here is that in most contexts, one can replace negative talk, with verbally positive talk, no matter how dripping with scathing irony. You’ll still get to express the idea you wanted, but your brain will feel more positive and you’ll be in a positive loop rather than a negative one.

This, by the way, is the inverse of talking to a dog with a tone of voice that is completely the opposite of the meaning of the words. Whereas the dog will interpret the tone only, your brain will interpret the words only.

• You just spilled your drink over yourself at a social function? “Aren’t I the very model of grace and charm?”

• You made a costly mistake in your business dealings? “I am such a genius”

• You just got a diagnosis of a terrible disease? “Well, this is fabulous”

None of these things involve burying your head in the sand, in the manner of toxic positivity. You’ll still learn from your business mistake and correct it as best you can, or take appropriate action regards the disease, for example.

You’ll just feel better while you do it, and not get caught into a negative spiral that ruins your day, or even your next few months.

Sympathetic/Somatic Therapy:

Lastly, an easy one, leveraging the body’s tendency to get in sync with things around us:

For when you do just need a mood change, have an uplifting playlist available at the touch of a button. It’s hard to be consumed with counterproductive feelings to the tune of “Walking on Sunshine”!

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🌍 AROUND THE WEB

What’s happening in the health world…

• Chronic fatigue syndrome may have a post-viral infection origin

• Vulva health conditions: it's time to shatter the silence

• How to supercharge T-cells against cancer

• African scientists call for research equity as a cancer crisis looms

• Making plant-based meat more meaty—with fermented onions!

• WHO warns of concerning COVID trends ahead of winter

• Newly-discovered cause of Alzheimer's & vascular dementia: iron toxicity

More to come tomorrow!

📖 ONE-MINUTE BOOK REVIEW

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life – by Mark Manson

You may wonder from the title: is this book arguing that we should all be callous heartless monsters? And no, it is not.

Instead, author Mark Manson advocates for cynicism, but less in the manner of Scrooge, and more in the manner of Diogenes:

• That life will involve struggle, so we might as well at least choose our struggles.

• That we will make mistakes, so we might as well accept them as learning experiences.

• That we will love and we will lose, so we might as well do it right while we can.

In short, the book is less about not caring... And more about caring about the right things only.

So, what are "the right things"? Manson bids us decide for ourselves, but certainly has ideas and pointers, with regard to what may or may not be healthy values to pursue.

The style throughout is casual and almost conversational, without being overly padded. It makes for very easy reading.

If the book has a weak point, it's that when it briefly makes a suprisingly prescriptive turn into recommending we take up Buddhism, it may feel a bit like our friend who wants us to join in the latest MLM scheme. But, he's soon back on track.

Bottom line: if you ever find yourself stressed with living up to unwanted expectations—your own, other people's, and society's—this book can really help streamline things.

Click here to check out The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and put your attention where it makes more of a positive difference!

Wishing you a healthily happy Sunday,

The 10almonds Team