The Joy Of Missing Out

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Today’s 30-Second Summary

If you don’t have time to read the whole email today, here are some key takeaways:

• It’s easy to feel lonely and isolated, even in today’s increasingly-connected world. And to make things worse, a lot of things conspire to make it a competition for social capital.

  • Today’s main feature explores how to reassess what things are actually bringing joy to your life, and what things are sapping your energy needlessly.

• We know that 10almonds readers don’t just want to look younger, but ideally to be younger, biologically speaking.

  • Today’s sponsor, Qualia Senolytic, are offering a potent supplement product to target and eliminate senescent cells, meaning the ones that get copied forward are the younger cells.

• Today’s featured book details how to personalize menopause treatment according to which of six likely paths your menopause is taking / has taken.

Read on to learn more about these things, or click here to visit our archive

A Word To The Wise

Watch and Learn

Signs Of Low Estrogen In Women: What Your Skin, Hair, & Nails Are Trying To Tell You

Skin, hair, and nails are often thought of purely as a beauty thing, but in fact they can be indicative of a lot of other aspects of health:

Prefer text? The above video will take you to a 10almonds page with a text-overview, as well as the video!

Psychology Sunday

The Joy Of Missing Out

What this is not going to be: a sour grapes thing.

What this is going to be: an exploration of how the grass is greener on the other side of the fence wherever you water it

It’s easy to feel lonely and isolated, even in today’s increasingly-connected world. We’ve tackled that topic before:

How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

One of the more passive (but still reasonable) ways of reducing isolation is to simply say “yes” more, which we discussed (along with other more active strategies) here:

When The World Moves Without Us… Can We Side-Step Age-Related Alienation?

But, is there any benefit to be gained from not being in the thick of things?

Sometimes some things associated with isolation are not, in reality, necessarily isolating. See for example:

Singledom & Healthy Longevity

But, the implications of embracing the “joy of missing out” are much more wide-reaching:

Wherever you are, there you are

You’ve probably read before the phrase “wherever you go, there you are”, but this phrasing brings attention to the fact that you already are where you are.

There are quite possibly aspects of your current life/situation that are not ideal, but take a moment to appreciate where you are in life. At the very least, you are probably in a safe warm dry house with plenty of food available; chances are you have plenty of luxuries too.

See also: How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

And yet, it’s easy to have a fear of missing out. Even billionaires fear they do not have enough and must acquire more in order to be truly secure and fulfilled.

As it goes for material wealth, so it also goes for social wealth—in other words, we may worry about such questions as: on whom can we rely, and who will be there for us if we need them? Do we, ultimately, have enough social capital to be secure?

• For social media influencers, it’ll be follower counts and engagement.

• For the family-oriented, it might be the question of whose house a given holiday gets celebrated at, and who attends, and who does it best.

• In more somber matters, think about funerals, and those where “there was such a huge turnout” vs “almost nobody attended”.

It sure sounds a lot like a dog-eat-dog world in which missing out sucks! But it doesn’t have to.

So let’s recap: your current situation is probably, all things considered, not bad. There is probably much in life to enjoy. If people do not come to your holiday event, then those are not people who would have improved things for you. If people do not attend your funeral even, then well, you yourself will be late, so hey.

Right now though, you are alive, so…

Enjoy the moment; enjoy your life for you.

Invest in yourself. Better yourself. Improve your environment for yourself little by little.

We spend a lot of time in life living up to everyone’s expectations, often without stopping to question whether it is what we want, or sometimes putting aside what we want in favor of what is wanted of us.

• Sometimes, such ostensible altruism is laudable and good (the point of today’s article is not “be a selfish jerk”; sometimes we should indeed shelve our self-interest in favour of doing something for the common good)

• Sometimes, it’s just pointless sacrifice that benefits nobody (the point of today’s article is “there is no point in playing stressful, stacked games when you could have a better time not doing that”)

If you are about to embark on an endeavor that you don’t really want to, take a moment to seriously consider which of the above two situations this is, and then act accordingly.

For a deeper dive into that, you might like this book that we reviewed a while back:

The Joy of Saying No – by Natalie Lue

Enjoy!

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This Or That?

Vote on Which is Healthier

Yesterday we asked you to choose between kiwi and grapefruit—we picked the kiwi (click here to read about why), as did 84% of you!

Now for today’s choice:

Click on whichever you think is better for you!

One-Minute Book Review

Unlock Your Menopause Type: Personalized Treatments, the Last Word on Hormones, and Remedies that Work – by Dr. Heather Hirsch

We featured Dr. Hirsch before, here, and mentioned this book which, at the time, we had not yet reviewed. So, here it is:

What sets this apart from a lot of menopause books is that there’s a lot less “eat these foods and your body will magically stop exhibiting symptoms of menopause” and a lot more clinical observations and then evidence-based recommendations.

Which is not to say don’t eat broccoli and almonds; by all means, they’re great foods and contain valuable nutrients that will help. But it is to say that if your doctor’s prescription is just broccoli and almonds, maybe have those as a snack while you’re looking for a second opinion.

Dr. Hirsch goes through various “menopause types”, but it’s not so much “astrology for gynecologists” and more “here are clusters of menopause symptoms set against timeline of presentation, and they can be categorized into six main ways that between them, cover pretty much all my patients, which have been many”.

So if you, dear reader, are menopausal (including peri- or post-), then the chances are very good that you will see yourself in one of those six sets.

She then goes about how to prioritize relief and safety, and personalize a treatment plan, and maintain the best menopausal care for you, going forward.

The style is easy-reading pop-science, punctuated by clinical science and 35 pages of references. She’s also, unlike a lot of authors in the genre, manifestly not invested in being a celebrity or making a personality cult out of her recommendations; she’s happy to stick to the science and put out good advice.

Bottom line: if you or someone you love is menopausal (including peri- or post-), this is a top-tier book.

Click here to check out Unlock Your Menopause Type, and get the best care for you!

Penny For Your Thoughts?

Wishing you a joyful Sunday,

The 10almonds Team